The Indomitable Spirit

THIS POST IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE. IF YOU NEED HELP PLEASE REACH OUT TO A PHYSICIAN. IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING HURTING YOURSELF OR SOMEONE ELSE, CALL THE SUICIDE HOTLINE IMMEDIATELY.

1-800-273-8255

           Today’s post is both difficult to write and it may be difficult to read about. However, it is important to talk about.

           PTSD can come from any source. Childhood, marriage, schools, attacks both personally and in large groups. And of course, war. I don’t fall into the last category but I know several that do.

           Those of us who suffer, yes suffer, from this disease, frequently compare ourselves to others. Particularly those that suffer from PTSD. We can feel guilty from time to time, telling ourselves that there is no reason for us to be ill when so many have suffered what we consider to be so much more than we have. Some feel the opposite, that their suffering is so much worse than someone else’s.

           The truth is, pain is pain. When I was working as a nurse, we’d always ask a patient about their pain on the pain scale. The higher the number, the more the pain. Some people would claim an 8 or a 10. They’d be completely calm without any outward signs of pain. The thing is, some people conceal their pain more than others. Some may say they have little pain, but their body language says the opposite. Pain is what a person says it is. Physical pain or emotional pain.

There are a few things that can trigger an episode of night and daymares for many, but not all. Loud noises are one. I cannot tolerate loud noise. It starts out just pounding in my head, I get the shakes, there’s trouble breathing, and I have to exit the source as soon as possible. For many, fireworks can cause the same problem because of the loud boom and sudden bright light.

           Anything that can bring back any memory, subconsciously as well. As an example, my ex-husband was a ‘choker’. I cannot wear turtleneck sweaters or anything that feels tight around the neck.  ANY memory can trigger an attack. It’s personal. Common factors, yes, personal, without a doubt. Depression can always be found. Medication can help. There are some medications that help with nightmares. So many turn to self-medication and some commit suicide.

           While PTSD may not be cured, symptoms can be eased. Self-care and understanding your personal triggers and seeing a physician. Not letting other people make you feel bad about yourself. Unless they help, and sometimes they do, ignore platitudes. Care for yourself by ignoring people that tell you to pick yourself up by your bootstraps. They are clueless.

           When you fall and you’re feeling like crap, allow someone to help you back up. Note: another part of self-care is self-love. Don’t give up. Please.